Ying & Yang

Wesley J. Negrete
2011 Whittier Christian
High School Graduate

YING: Last Saturday (6/4), I was able to witness Wesley walk with his classmates in his cap and gown.......in a word - incredible. The tears were flowing for my son and for one of his major goals in life. I am one very proud papa and I also knew that my "papa" was looking from above and shared in shedding those tears of joy with me.


YANG: Thursday (6/9) turned into a very emotional day for me. The Negrete Family celebrated the life of my Aunt Sookie in the City of Colton and it was, in a word - incredible. The outpouring of words, of feelings to describe her and the life she lead was spot on. It was very moving to see the impact that one woman had over a family and we were all truly family yesterday. Thank you Aunt Sookie, for being you and sharing your life with me. Love, thoughts and prayers to my uncle Chuck and my cousin Damian.


At first driving to my Aunts celebration, I thought how diametrically opposite these events were going to turn out to be. Well, let me tell you how wrong I was. They were in a word - incredible. They both celebrated a life; one that had experienced the utmost, able to have wrung everything possible from every breath she took; another that has the entire spectrum of life from which to experience and make his own . For me, I must go to the wayback machine and remember what were my dreams and aspirations when I walked with my fellow Falcons from Aquinas High School in 1980; making sure Wesley knows that anyone of his (if not all) are possible. I also need to look forward to that ultimate day of my celebration and ensure that my life had true meaning and impact, hoping to achieve but a portion of what what my Aunt did. Thank you Wesley and Aunt Sookie for allowing me to share in your celebrations.


Rad/Chemo: Today (Friday 6/10) was the end of my second week of daily doses of radiation (9 days total - go figure, even this disease was given a Holiday) and my third dose of chemo. I have another five weeks of rad (once a day, five days a week) and chemo (once a week on Tuesday's). Stephanie, Wesley, my Mom and brother Michael have all made it with me to make my daily rounds and my not having to drive is a great benefit! I also found out that my company has approved my medical leave and at the same time I was interviewed by MetLife (insurance carrier for Raytheon's short term disability program). Medical Reform, o where art thou?


The side effects of the radiation have started to manifest themselves; dry mouth, lack of saliva, irritation inside the mouth, loss of some taste and fatigue. Add the ones for chemo (skin irritation - read acne across the "T" zone on my face and upper torso, headaches; but no nail issues yet (fingers or toes - well, except for the fact that I still have my webbed toes; two of them on each foot.....betcha didn't know about that "Gary Factoid"!) NOTE: When Wesley was born, the first thing I checked for were his toes. He had all ten; five on each side and they were appropriately detached and was I ever relieved - thank you God! NOTE 2: It did  make me swim faster! I was a recreational competitive swimmer (no swim team a Aquinas but I did swim for the Orange Otters out of Orange High School in, you guessed it, Orange. I managed to place third at the Annual Seal Beach Rough Water Swim - 1 mile total, from shoreline shotgun start past the breakwater to the end of pier, parallel the each to breakers and back again.


I relate the status of my side effects because I do not want to hide things and I am fearful. I am fearful of becoming someone other than who I am. I am a 48 year old male with cancer. I am taking steps to eradicate the disease (surgery, radiation & chemo, diet, exercise, etc.). I am showing outward signs of the disease -wait, that's it. It's the outward signs, specifically the high school case of acne sign because it is the only real manifestation of my disease (except for maybe my convenient neck crease scar) that is outward and visible. Now, I do not consider myself vain; but it has started to take some thought on my part to not think about my visibly outward sign. Damn, have I now become one of the Househusbands of Long Beach? Will botox be next? How about a bit of lipo after lunch at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles? Where will it end?


Well, you will be glad to know that it all ended yesterday after I attended the celebration for my Aunt Sookie. The words people used to describe her and her life went beyond her natural beauty and showed me that I am who I am...I just happen to have some additional "facial features" at this time. When you see me, know that it should go away after the last chemo treatment, it is a bit tender and they prescribed  some gel to help, but underneath all those "zits", it is still me - somethings never change.


PS: I loaded my WCHS Graduation pictures on my Facebook page for those that socialize - if you are not my friend, send me a request.