Double Double - Animal Style?

Although not exactly "In-n-Out", I did have my own version of a "DoubleDouble" today. There was radiation this morning and then capped it off with the second weekly dose of chemo. What a day, what a day, what a day.

The dreaded "Bell Curve"

Starting off on my journey I knew that there would be times when I needed to buckle down and not allow myself to feel more sick than I really am - I mean actually feel like I was really sick; even though I am. I promised myself that I would do everything possible to make sure that I kept myself at the far end of the curve.  Grading on a curve is an age old statistical method of assigning grades designed to yield a pre-determined distribution amongst all students in a class - a "Bell" curve. After some diligent research, I always felt (and continue to feel) that I had as good a chance as anybody in my situation to be at the far end of the curve. I mean, statistically speaking, somebody had to be there...why not me?


In going through all of the tests, procedures, doctor's visits, all of the poking and prodding, everything with the surgery, all of the searching for parking spots...I willed myself into that top percent. I kept the pain under control, I drank what I had too, gave blood to those who wanted it, stayed still when I was "needled", ate what was good for me; basically enduring whatever was medically required because I knew I desperately wanted to stay on the right side of the curve. 


That is until I started the chemo/radiation. Until then, I was flying. Outwardly, you would not know anything other than I felt good, looked good and was doing really good (IMHO). Now, I am starting to feel some of the side effects; dry irritated skin, dehydration, headaches, fatigue. I say manageable for now, but effects nontheless. 


I still believe that I am on the right side of the curve. Although reality in the form of side effects is creeping into my world, I still feel blessed. Whoa, wait a minute. A curve ball? Not what you were thinking I was going to say, right? Blessed? Really? I have cancer so how could I possibly be blessed? Well, let me tell you how blessed I am. To start, I have all of you. Every step of the way, I have had at least one of you with me. Today, I had my mom and brother go with me to chemo. Yesterday, I had Stephanie go with me to my first radiation treatment. A little while ago I had a great conversation with Wes about the drama around his last days of high school. Basically, I have talked with some of you, comments from a lot of you with thoughts and prayers from all of you. Blessed, you better believe I am - I do. Excuse me, I need to go moisturize.......I need to be ready for my real "Double Double" for lunch tomorrow!