Now that was Rad!!

That's Rad for short. My first dose of radiation today and boy are my arms tired! Seriously, the picture is a representation of the radiation machine that I am to become intimately familiar with over the next few weeks. I am scheduled for once a day, five days a week, for a total of about seven weeks - so that's 1 down and about 31 to go. The session lasts about 15 minutes and I get to wear my mask. A computer guides the machine as it rotates around my head and neck while I am on the table, prone and stationary; very, very stationary.


So now the big question: How do I feel? "Not sure" is my first response. Apprehensive? Tired? Bored? Scared? Confused? Confident? Alone? Empty? Again, not really sure. I am about to embark on the second major leg of my journey and I am not sure how I feel.

I often think back to that day in January when I first felt my lil friend on my neck. That thought then naturally flows to the news from my doctor that the biopsy pathology result was positive for Squamous Cell Carcinoma - referral to an oncologist - my world is rocked - things would never be the same again.....


So here I sit, typing on my blog (never thought I would have one with this subject matter), eating turkey burgers, lots of veggies, hummus, fruits and nuts, yogurt, along with plenty of vitamins and supplements. All consumed (along with much more) in order to make me stronger, more healthy and better prepared for my battle with cancer. I weight less and can do more yet at this moment, I am not sure how I feel. The preliminary effects from the Erbitux treatment last week are starting to manifest themselves. Most especially is the total body dehydration and breaking out on my face and upper torso. I have switched moisturizers  (again, never thought I would be typing a sentence like that) to try and get ahead of the dryness.

I await pensively for tomorrow to come as I get radiated at 8am and dosed with chemo at 2pm. I will endeavour to feel more "sure" because I am tired of that not sure feeling. Here's to being sure.