Dateline: UCLA Med Center, Westwood, California, 0327 hours

I am awake. Somewhat tired but filled with a sense of spirit that is almost indescribable. My little friend is gone but most certainly not forgotten. No, no I will never forget the moment my doctor told me it was cancer. I will never forget the moment I told Stephanie what the diagnosis was. I will never forget having to tell Wesley and I will never, ever be able to forget having to tell my mom. It hurt more than anything I had ever experienced before and I assume anything that may come later. For the first time, I realized what being a parent really meant. I understood what it must feel like for a parent to risk losing a child. I wanted to reach out and tell my mom that everything was going to be ok, that I was going to be ok - but I couldn't because I did not know. All I could do was hug her and hope that the "abrazo de oso" would make up for not knowing.

My dad passed away before my Grandmother did and before any of his siblings. I remember getting the call that he had suffered a heart attack and was on his way to the hospital. I drove from La Mirada to San Bernardino in record time, hoping that a CHiPpie would stop me so that I could finagle an escort. He passed before I could arrive and I stopped by the side of the road and remember being mad, mad that he had left so early. Mad that my son would not get to know his Grandfather the way he should. Mad that I would have to do the things that I expected my Dad to do with Wesley. I often think of that night, about how so many people were affected by his death, especially my Grandma. Those memories came flooding back when I told my mom about the cancer.

The success of the surgery yesterday is a major step in the right direction. It has created the opportunity for me to be a better son to my mom, to ease the pain caused by the word "cancer" by replacing it with "survivor". I will be released tomorrow as all vital signs look great. My doctor stated I was "disease free" and I made a bit of a name for myself with the hospital staff by successfully getting the post-op nurse to let me talk to Stephanie on the phone - apparently I was quite persuasive since that is not something that they do. The ride home tomorrow will be exhilarating to say the least. I'm on my way home!