"What can I do to help?" you ask....

Wes and I
at Pauley Pavilion

The next path on my journey starts tomorrow with my first medical visit to UCLA in about 40 years. Wow, wow, wow!! The first time I went was when I was but a yee lil bean for my previously disclosed glass eye; then did not return again until frequenting the jazz clubs (has anyone seen Ottmar Liebert perform - live?) during my years in law school at Pepperdine in the mid 80's. I next found myself at Pauley Pavilion watching Wesley during summer residential basketball camps and summer soccer camps on the intramural fields in the late 90's. Stephanie and I have also been to Drake Stadium to see the UCLA Women's Soccer team play in the mid-2000's. Now, I get to go the Ronnie "Raygun" Medical Center for the opinion of the esteemed Dr Sercarz. Tuesday at 11am - keep your toes crossed ;)


I titled this post "What can I do to help you say?" because I wanted to let everybody know that has asked me that question what my answer wouild be. So, without further ado:


QUESTION: Gary, what can I do to help?


ANSWER: First, I want you to know that I have the most excellent core of support that anyone can imagine. I have Stephanie (spouse, friend, chef), Wesley (son, text guru) and the Grandma (Virginia, Bunkie, Auntie, Verge & Shortie). That core then extends to my brother (Mr. Legendary Leather), cousins and aunts and uncles and friends that stretch from Brayton Ave, across the border down Mexico way to the Pacific Northwest (Hi King Family!) to the eastern shore (Alexi, tell momma and poppa hi from the westcoast) and down south to Bordeaux street in New Orleans (ahhh, nothing like an Old Fashioned (or two!) at Galatoire's). So, you can see that I am very well represented and have tons of assistance.


What I do need help with is to make sure that my support is "supported". What I mean is that with all these people helping me, who is helping them deal with what I have? If I have had a chance to bend your ear you know that I ask that the tears and the words of sorrow expressed after hearing about "my little friend" be tempered if not completed squelched. I have instead stated that you ask me how my change in diet is going, how about them "Doyers", any news about the second opinion, etc, etc, etc. 


I know that it's natural to shed a tear and say you are sorry to hear that I have cancer, but the path I have chosen feeds off of the complete opposite. The weakness in my chosen path is that I have effectively shut off the most natural response that people have. For my inner circle - my core of supporters, that could be detrimental.  

Stephanie & The Grandma at
their 1,000th Wesley soccer game

So the way you can help me is by helping my inner circle. If you know Stephanie, be there for her in ways that work for her (can you say Burke Williams?). If you are a friend of Wesley, become an outlet for him when he needs to get back to normal for a while. For the Grandma, anybody want to go to church with her to say a prayer or go shopping to "Wal-Mark"? 


I need your support now more than ever in my entire life and I am not ashamed to ask for help nor am I afraid to ask "will you help me?".  Will you?